Ensign Yooch Lays Down The Law

Yooch spent a lot of time admiring his new Helios. He had worked hard to learn how to fly it and had spent the last few days zipping around between the stars, completely hidden by its state-of-the-art cloaking device, so when Warb mentioned he needed a route to high-security space Yooch immediately volunteered to scan it for him.

Teaming up with Divine Aura, they were able to scan through systems fairly quickly, jumping through wormholes in search for a connection to known space. The systems they visited were fairly quiet. Yooch saw a station once on directional scan, but there were no ships anywhere to be seen. Fairly soon, Yooch had scanned down wormhole signature estimated by the computer to lead to high security space! After a short fist-pump for besting Divine at something he announced his discovery and entered the portal to find out where it would lead. Exiting the dark void, he got another pleasant surprise. He had entered Kor-Azor Prime, a border system to a major trade hub! That was about the best you could hope for in a route to high-security space and Yooch held his head high as he entered the portal coordinates for his corp-mates use.

Distracted by his discovery, Yooch failed to remember to cloak his ship after exiting the wormhole, a fact that he was quickly reminded of when a Rapier suddenly dropped out of warp right next to him. Dashing around the cockpit, Yooch cloaked up and started burning away from the portal, before remembering that combat in high security space was always detected and punished by CONCORD. Which was a good thing too, considering a Drake and a Helios warped in a few seconds later. They were obviously from the same corporation as the Rapier, judging from the logos painted on their hulls.

What followed was strange; all three ships sat immobile next to the wormhole. Were they waiting for someone? Why weren’t they entering? Suddenly it hit him – they were scared! They had glimpsed his Helios before he cloaked and were afraid that his corp-mates would be waiting for them on the other side of the wormhole. Yooch laughed as he sat cloaked in his ship, allowing the power trip to go to his head slightly. It was amusing for a Rapier to be afraid of a Helios.

He didn’t have to wait long. The ships seemed to decide it would be unwise to jump through the wormhole and warped away, toward one of the stargates in the system. Yooch remained at the hole a bit longer. Deciding that they were gone for good, he set course for the library in Amarr; there were some piloting skills he hoped to read up on while his corporation still had access to a major empire system.

Yooch was sifting through dusty volumes when Warb announced he was ready to make a supply run. Since Warb had a lot of valuables to sell at the market, Yooch jogged back to his ship with as many books as he could carry and set a course for the wormhole to scout the chain. By the time he reached the hole in Kor-Azor however, Warb was already exiting it in a stealthy hauler.

With no pressing reason to return to the market Ensign Yooch jumped back into unknown space and initiated warp to the next wormhole in the chain. Just then Warb transmitted something strange – a Magnate was jumping through the wormhole in Kor-Azor Prime.  Who would bring such a primitive scanning ship through a hole with so much activity? Warb ran a scan on the ship and was able to ascertain the pilot’s name – Art Noble.

Lacking any weapons on his Helios, Yooch maintained his course for corporate headquarters, running a database check on the mysterious pilot as he went. It turned up a result just as he reached the ship hangar. It was a graduation certificate from a capsuleer vocational school, only five days old! Art had apparently been planet-side until less than a week prior and was already flying through incredibly dangerous space.

Entering the barracks, Yooch found Divine Aura wrapped up in an IRL (Instant Relationship Lecture) radio transmission with her needy boyfriend. No problem, he could take care of this on his own. Returning to the ship hangar, he boarded his speedy Atron and set off down the chain towards the Kor-Azor Prime connection.

Reaching the system, he immediately noticed the Magnate on directional scan, as well as basic scan probes. However, the entrance to the wormhole was clear. At least Art had learned how to take basic precautions in capsuleer school, but he still needed a lesson in the dangers of wormhole-space. Yooch set about locating him, pinging each planet with his ship’s directional scan.

Getting a hit, Yooch warped to the planet and landed just 5 km away from the Magnate. Flipping on his sensor booster, he burned towards it. His Atron was able to lock on to the Magnate almost immediately and prevent it from warping away. Yooch fired a few rounds of antimatter through its shields to put the fear of Bob in the rookie pilot before deactivating his guns.

Not wanting to destroy the ship completely, Yooch hailed the pilot. Receiving no response, he shot a few more rounds to get his attention and hailed once more. Still nothing. He was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the situation. Who knows which passing ships could have intercepted his message? He couldn’t stay here indefinitely toying with the Magnate. Steeling himself, he fired a few more rounds and watched the ship go up in flames.


The rookie’s escape pod warped out immediately when the ship burst, which was something to be said for him at least. Yooch scooped the pitiful loot and headed back to headquarters with mixed feelings about the engagement. He was trying to teach the pilot a lesson, but perhaps he had been too harsh.

En route, he received a weak broadcast. Decrypting it he could see that it was sent from Art’s pod. The pilot had finally seen Yooch’s previous broadcast in his pod’s data log. Apparently he had been too concerned with trying to escape to notice it before. From the transmission, Yooch determined that Art had never heard of unknown space before. Apparently since graduating, he had discovered a wormhole linking two empire systems and wasn’t aware that they often lead to more sinister domains.

Ensign Yooch opened a direct radio link and explained about the dangers of unknown space. As is the way of capsuleers, Art was curious about the riches available in wormhole systems. Yooch warned him of the deadly sleeper drones that jealously guard ancient secrets but encouraged him to keep exploring. Remembering how difficult it was to replace a ship when starting out, he wired Art ten million interstellar kredits to soothe the burden.

Yooch returned to the headquarters to help out with his daily chores, smiling as docked his ship in the hangar. Any day he could make a new friend was a good day in his book, and he was glad to teach a new pilot some tricks of the trade. Of course, some of his corp-mates would laugh when they heard about the ISK donation, but hey, who cares what they think anyway?

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9 Responses to Ensign Yooch Lays Down The Law

  1. tichim says:

    That was pretty cool of you, to give him isk like that. I know if I ever came across a newbie like that, I’d likely do that same, but for now, I shall entertain myself by putting bounty on corp mates.

  2. splatus says:

    great story and thanks for sending ISK. I have done that a few times but mostly its not ISK that matters but a friendly conversation afterward to explain what went wrong. We have recruited quite a few solid pilots that way. Great blog, btw.

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