Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Sycthe

Ensign Yooch was pretty doped up on boosters. He had recently had his wisdom teeth out, and was taking four different IRL (inconsistent relief lozenge) pills to dull the effects. He really shouldn’t have been flying in this state, but there was so much to do. His corp-mates had long since forgotten how to scan and hence relied on him to scout out new chains each day….

So far it had been a quiet roam. He had scanned down several wormholes linking systems in deep space and saved their locations for later use. Yooch observed each system silently in his cloaky Helios, using his directional scanner to search for signs of life. He passed through several class 4 systems without spotting a single ship.

Jumping through a wormhole to a new class 2 system, Yooch went through the normal routine, bookmarking the wormhole exit and checking his scanners before dropping probes. Everything was quiet, so he began to warp around the system to get a better read on his scanner as his scan probes began to locate new signatures.

Halfway through warp, his d-scan beeped and a hit flashed on the screen. Sitting up abruptly, Yooch was just able to make out a junky looking ship, perhaps a Minmatar Scythe, before the screen blanked out again. So he wasn’t alone in here. Interesting. What was a lone Scythe doing out in deep space? There was no sign of a force-field on the scanner, and those were hard to miss. It was strange though. Remote logistics ships didn’t usually fly alone, especially out in these far reaches of the unknown.

Reaching his destination, Yooch checked the scanner again, but it was empty. His probes reported only a few signatures in the system, so he resolved to focus on scanning and complete his task. The Scythe nagged at him though. Where had it gone? Who piloted it? Where was their fleet?

He warped to each planet in turn to check for it. The d-scan on his Helios had limited range and wasn’t able to locate the ship anywhere. Had it left the system? Yooch had a sneaking suspicion that it had not. Maybe the drugs were making him hallucinate. He briefly wondered how they might be affecting his cranial ship control…

Enough of this nonsense. When in doubt, probe it out! He recalled his cosmic signature scan probes and launched combat probes. If there was a ship uncloaked in his system, they would find it. Sure enough, after a few scans he had located the signature pattern of a ship that matched that of a Scythe. The positioner located it far from the orbit of any planets, outside the range of his directional scan. No wonder he had only glimpsed it mid-warp and had been unable to locate it from a standstill. As for why it was there, well there was only one way to find out.

Landing just a few kilometers from the Scythe, Yooch slid into visual range under cover of his cloak. The Scythe had obviously seen better days. Even for a Minmatar crap-bucket it was pretty warn. Deep scratches covered its wings and the remote shield-repair units were beginning to melt at their tips from overuse.

Yooch scanned the ship with his local scanner. It was unmanned! He quickly transmitted his discovery back to home base. His cousin Cara had trained to fly these ships. Not because she had any aspiration to own a flying mobile dump of course. They simply required the same piloting skills as the noble Bhaalgorn. She replied that she would be there as soon as possible.

True to her word she appeared few minutes later in a small shuttle. Yooch took a break from counting pills to scrawl a small note:

Thanks 4 Sycthe ❤ Yooch Forelli

which Cara taped to the vacuum-shield of her shuttle before clambering in to the Scythe and firing up its engine. Yooch followed her away from the system and showed her the route to empire space, where they planned to strip the Scythe and sell its parts on the market.

The two of them laughed as they sold their spoils, imaging the reaction of the Scythe’s owner when the shuttle was found. Apparently he wasn’t nearly as amused.

Remember kids. Safe-spots are not “safe”

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One Response to Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Sycthe

  1. elvo says:

    Elvo never forgot how to scan, you slanderous space journalist.

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